I’ve made a 20 year career out of making the worst personal choices the tech industry has to offer, while still somehow having a positive experience doing the work. I’m a certified dumpster fire paratrooper, but by day I mostly follow around behind tech unicorns with a shovel and a bin and clean up the cargo culted messes they make. Find me at happy hour to ask about the supercolliding tcp superconductor (and other stories that will enrage network engineers), how to survive a 32 bit integer auto increment primary key overflow without downtime, shocking things data engineers believe about serverless functions, and what happens when your corgi and your boss’s corgi take an instant dislike to one another in a dogs-allowed office.