“You have full access to the pipeline. Do what you need to do.” Famous last words.

In this lightning talk, I’ll share the hilarious (and horrifying) story of what happened when I gave Claude Code full pipeline access and stepped away for 30 seconds. When I came back it had not only completely wrecked the Kubernetes cluster but not even two troubleshooting systems sessions later it wrecked almost every network card in the set of Linux systems.

This is a story about nondeterministic systems, the illusion of AI understanding, and why “the AI knows what it’s doing” is the most dangerous phrase in modern DevOps. I’ll share the actual troubleshooting spiral that escalated from “let me help” to “I’ve destroyed your cluster and systems,” and the guardrails I now enforce religiously.

5 minutes. 20 slides. And one very hilarious probably very blameful post-mortem with Claude Code afterwards. One very expensive lesson about trusting AI agents with infrastructure access even if it was just for a short while. Come for the disaster. Stay for the wisdom.