Every new team onboarding to a platform used to start the same way: a queue of tickets, manual provisioning of resources, and engineers playing coordinator instead of building. It didn’t scale then, and it doesn’t scale now.

As platform teams grow to support more users and more workloads, the bottleneck shifts from capability to operational overhead. The runbook that worked for ten teams breaks at a hundred. The constraint isn’t the platform — it’s the process around it. This talk is about optimizing that process. We’ll cover the patterns behind building self-service onboarding experiences that actually work at enterprise scale.

This self-service approach is applicable to any platform that interacts with multiple systems or capabilities. Whether you’re running a data platform, a developer toolchain, or an AI infrastructure layer, the principles are the same. You’ll leave with pointed questions to ask about your own platform’s onboarding experience — including one most teams haven’t considered yet.